Konstant Be

Some boys will become fathers, live a century and never become men. Some girls will experience child birth and hot flashes but never become womyn. Puberty is no cocoon, their chrysalis comes in coffins. <|3

Oh stencils, no matter how much I try to give you up I keep coming back to you...

choosing losing finding my way through the rain losing choosing all of my thoughts go insane finding my way through this lonely place it's just a rainy daze finding my way through this lonely days it's such a rainy place and I can't go but I want to and I can't go but I want to ... ...who would dare to bring me love...? - Flunk, Norwegian Goodness :)

Don't speak. I hear you.

Here's a live art piece I did last week. The feature that week was an amazing poet named Simply Kat. That night, I had the intention of just looking at her, "capturing her essence" and trying to transfer it onto a piece of bristol. So, I asked to look at her for a few minutes before the show and later on before she went on while she was out back smoking. I did the sketch then went in with various sharpies (haven't used those in awhile) and then splattered some paint. She really dug it so I gave it to her. She told me, "it made my week...no, my month" and that it made the long drive down from Inland Empire worthwhile. :) <|3

There's a lot of good things about having a 4GB memory card for my camera phone. I have plenty of space to take the 8MP high resolution pictures. I don't ever have to worry about running out of space to take pictures. Those are great advantages but there are some bad things as well. When I search through my pics, it can take awhile to find a particular pic because there are so many. And...when you have 4GB, you sometimes forget to unload some of those pictures for a month or two. And when you finally get around to unloading you realize you've saved up 800+ pictures and it takes your computer fifteen minutes to download them. lol :) <|3

Tonight I remembered why I love being an artist. <|3

"The big question people ask isn't 'What's the nature of existence?' " the mouth says. "The big question people ask is ' What's that from? ' " - Survivor, pg. 110 Ch. 22 People can't conceive of a virtue in someone else that they conceive in themselves. Instead of believing you're stronger, it's so much easier to imagine you're weaker. You're addicted to self-abuse. You're a liar. People are always ready to believe the opposite of what you tell them. - Survivor, pg. 94

to give anything i was willing and yet i could not give it all

i chose you little dove i lit the trip fantastic and saw the dream anew i chose you little one to search the vastness inside this world beyond my grasp you came to me little dove fig leaf beneath your tongue to show me there was something solid out there out in this never-ending ocean you taught me my heart could escape this sea of despair

We aren't together and I'm not a fuck buddy we're done bottom line

Here is my third live painting. What is interesting about this instance is that the girl painted here didn't appear until the end of the painting. I had painted the girl very quickly at home (it's not very clean) and then applied a new medium I've discovered that allows you to essentially erase paint. So, I painted the entire piece in one color so the figure couldn't be seen underneath. Then I let it dry and packed it up in my car for the show. At the show, I proceeded to paint the background in several layers. I was even allowed to spray paint a bit. And then half way through, I began to expose the painting underneath. People were pretty amazed at my "performance" and kept questioning me about what I described as a "magic trick". Only one person knew what I had done. :) Anyway, I think I will reclaim this idea. That is of the girl as a guitar. <|3

I'm live painting again tonight and I have big plans for this time around. Going to do display some techniques on stage that I don't think anyone has ever seen done. The closest thing I can describe it as is an aesthetic magic trick. I've always equated being an artist to being a magician. You take something ordinary (like a canvas) and turn into something extraordinary that wasn't there before. So, I've finished the pledge, the turn comes soon, right before the show, and the prestige is on stage and should be quite amazing. It is either going to be totally meant or a total disaster. *shrug* :) I'm learning so much and developing so many techniques. I don't think I could ever learn as much as from an art school than I could alone and exploring myself. It is tedious but oh so exciting. Here's the first live painting I did a couple weeks ago. I did everything you see from the top of head, complete artistic improv. With Love, <|3

"...and for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself Phew, for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself..." "...look into my eyes it's the only way you'll know I'm telling the truth." "you are not to blame for bittersweet distractors dare not speak its name..." - Radiohead

Here's a tattoo I'm working on for a good friend of mine. Rough sketch, so it's very angular. I plan to make it look a little more realistic.

Here's a new piece. I came up with the idea not too long ago and was just now able to execute. Spray paint and acrylic combined with many new techniques I've come with. My brother says she has a gorilla nose... Going work on it a bit more.

So, here's the live painting I did last week. I got to the open mic really late. So, I was setting up as the show was starting at around 9:40pm. I had to run around the spot looking for the aisle that I had used the week before. The guy in charge of stuff like that was nowhere to be found. I looked for him in the front and people told me to find him in the back. I went to the back and they told me 'he's probably up front'. Anyway, I managed to borrow this really shoddy easel from this guy with a studio in the back. It was made of like plywood and leaned back on a string. But hey, it worked. I get backstage and I didn't want to be on stage setting during someone's performance but the host said, "Go ahead and set up, you don't have much time." So, I put out my canvas tarp, my paints, the easel, and quickly poured some water in my small tub for my brushes. Gill, the host, bought me a new canvas to work on which is nice but means I had to work str...

Just found this. Fun and kind of clever. :) Favorite quote from their site: "We are making a statement, not proving a theory."

you always want me to be a part of you you always taught me to be alive with you this is the time and the place and the moment feeling the way that i do these are the signs and the traces of growing by living the way that i do i hope you understand and acknowledge all that's passing through it's constantly been there and throwing all that wasn't good i hope we both find the place where maybe some day we will find our strength and hopefully attain to finally escape i'm always amazed how we're so self destructive does any body know why? find the Light -elsiane, "final escape" Love this song (I've been playing it out) and this band.

So next week I'm going to be doing live painting for the first time this week. I'm just going to jump right into it and see what happens. I'm a bit apprehensive and yet hopeful. To be honest, I really don't know how to approach it. Live painting seems so fluid and sporadic. I tend to be very controlled and precise. Anything that can get messy (charcoal, watercolor, etc.) I tend to make messy and not in a good way. Ash and I went to Home Depot and I bought some cheap plywood to paint on. It comes in 4' X 8' standard. I decided before hand that I would cut it down to two 4' by 3' pieces to be painted upon. (I figured I'd want whatever I'm painting on to be pretty big so people in the audience can see what I'm creating.) It's actually cheap and easy to get this kind of thing done. The cheapest wood is about 12 dollars and they cut it twice (if you require) for free and than fifty cents for each additional cut. So, I got my 4'x3' piec...