Poem - Mirror Mirror (a persona piece)

mirror mirror
you’ve been playing tricks on me
trying to convince me

that the body that stands before you is mine

that i’m supposed to have so much testosterone in these veins

that my hips are meant to be square instead of round
that i’m meant to have pecs instead of breasts
fooling me into believing

that i am not the woman i feel inside

mirror mirror

tell me how this fairytale went wrong

how i could play with barbies
only to grow up to be ken
stealing my big sisters clothes

scarred by a childhood of Disney movies

watching mermaids granted human legs
mice magicked into men

only to learn that little boys

don’t wake up as little girls
no matter how much they pray
or wish upon twinkling stars

where did my magic go? my big tall wish? my pixie dust?

i don’t want to fly
i just want to be who I feel inside
but my glass slippers have turned to cement
this 6’2” frame like a prison; a tower of flesh
that my hair will never grow long enough to escape

mirror, mirror you’ve been spreading lies about me
telling the world that how i feel is a joke
this place is too small for people who don’t fit the mold
and even smaller when you and your mate can’t procreate
i’m not gay

i’m just a girl waiting to be rescued

but my beauty is sleeping inside
and i’m terrified that my prince charming will harm me
when the glass slipper doesn't fit
i question if anyone will give me true love's kiss
to break this curse

cause when your parents disown you

you wonder if love is truly unconditional
no one seems to understand

that i want to be loved for what’s in my heart
and not for my body just like everyone else

mirror, mirror, on the wall
i don’t feel like a boy at all
i’m twelve inches too tall
clit four inches too long
these facial hairs feel like pins and needles
pricking my psyche
i’ve got fingers that don’t fit
and too many muscles

i’m a strange marionette moving foreign limbs

a geppetto experiment gone awry
this body is telling lies
and this thing between my legs just seems to keep growing
my fairy godmother must have granted the wrong wish
that wand toting bitch owes me a do over

mirror mirror
you’ve been talking shit about me
you’re a backstabbing best friend
a drag me down lover
you make me remember that hormones aren’t enough

and i must spend more hours with you

than most women just trying to look the part

that i must be michelango with my makeup
you are a constant reminder 
that no matter how much i tuck

and stuff

and apply

i will only ever be passable
passable is the times when someone passes me on the street without staring too long

passable is all the times he held my hand in public
passable are the nights i don’t end up in a shallow grave for being true to myself

passable is when i make my confession to that handsome boy and hear “it’s ok”
passable are the days i can walk past my reflection without cringing

my mother once told me
that god created mirrors so we can see in the reflection
the things we cant see ourselves
mirror, mirror
i know that you’ve been broken

since the day i smashed onto this planet
but could you tell me why my seven years

seems to have transitioned into a lifetime