I want us to be miserable.
I mean real fucking miserable.
I want people to wonder why we even get up in the morning. To wonder how we even eek out an existence together. I want us to do the most back breaking things to keep a roof over our heads. I hope we have to shake fire and brimstone from our shoulder blades each night.
Our fingertips, I want the stench of cigarettes to be seared into them and alcohol sewn into our breath. I hope we sleep in a bed of ashtrays, unpaid bills, and notebook paper, cover ourselves in half painted canvases, lay our heads on piles of the things we never say, and dream in colors our minds are too terrified to comprehend. I hope we over sleep every night.
I want our nerves to be raw at every moment. I hope our every days are exhausting. I hope our days are shitty. I hope our days are scary. I hope our days become as monstrous as they'll say we are.
I hope they can't stand to be around us.
I want people to hate how we dress. I want them to whisper about us behind our back. I want them to whisper terrible things about us. I want them to think we're fat and ugly and stupid and then smile in our faces. I want people to think we're pretentious. I hope we have to cut a little space for us out of granite because that's all they'll fucking allow.
I hope hate isn't a deserving enough word to describe how they feel.
I want us to have friends that don't appreciate who we are to them. I hope they put their needs and desires above are own. I hope they're miserable too and want the company. I want them to guilt trip us until we're anaphylactic. I hope they try to drag us even deeper.
I want us to be miserable. I mean real fucking miserable. And I want each other to be the only happiness we can count on some days. I want the brilliant fucking happiness we are to make all the misery a god damn walk in the park.
I mean real fucking miserable.
I want people to wonder why we even get up in the morning. To wonder how we even eek out an existence together. I want us to do the most back breaking things to keep a roof over our heads. I hope we have to shake fire and brimstone from our shoulder blades each night.
Our fingertips, I want the stench of cigarettes to be seared into them and alcohol sewn into our breath. I hope we sleep in a bed of ashtrays, unpaid bills, and notebook paper, cover ourselves in half painted canvases, lay our heads on piles of the things we never say, and dream in colors our minds are too terrified to comprehend. I hope we over sleep every night.
I want our nerves to be raw at every moment. I hope our every days are exhausting. I hope our days are shitty. I hope our days are scary. I hope our days become as monstrous as they'll say we are.
I hope they can't stand to be around us.
I want people to hate how we dress. I want them to whisper about us behind our back. I want them to whisper terrible things about us. I want them to think we're fat and ugly and stupid and then smile in our faces. I want people to think we're pretentious. I hope we have to cut a little space for us out of granite because that's all they'll fucking allow.
I hope hate isn't a deserving enough word to describe how they feel.
I want us to have friends that don't appreciate who we are to them. I hope they put their needs and desires above are own. I hope they're miserable too and want the company. I want them to guilt trip us until we're anaphylactic. I hope they try to drag us even deeper.
I want us to be miserable. I mean real fucking miserable. And I want each other to be the only happiness we can count on some days. I want the brilliant fucking happiness we are to make all the misery a god damn walk in the park.